J. Peterman

Who Is J. Peterman?: In a show with so many memorable characters, J. Peterman of Seinfeld stood out. The embodiment of the suave man-of-the-world easily imagined behind the stories throughout the J. Peterman catalog, Elaine's boss was larger than life, but took himself so seriously.

There is a real-life J. Peterman catalog, with stories behind each of the clothing items featured in it, just as in Seinfeld. On the show, Elaine worked for the "real" J. Peterman as a catalog writer and editor.

J. Peterman Is Played By...: John O'Hurley. In a bizarre case of reality reflecting art, John O'Hurley partnered with the catalog's owner and became part owner of the company. In a sense, he's now the real-life J. Peterman.

John O'Hurley has also appeared in Dancing with the Stars (and won), Family Feud (as host), and Kids Say the Darndest Things. He's a best-selling author and Broadway actor.
Interview with John O'Hurley

Quotes from Seinfeld's fictional J. Peterman catalog: "It's a hot night. The mind races. You think about your knife, the only friend who hasn't betrayed you, the only friend who won't be dead by sunup. Sleep tight, mates, in your quilted chambray nightshirts."

"Oh, I'm exhausted. I've been on this street a thousand times. It's never looked so strange. The faces...so cold. In the distance a child is crying...fatherless...a bastard child, perhaps. My back aches, my heart aches, but my feet...my feet are resilient! Thank God I took off my heels and put on my Himalayan walking shoes!"

"It's tough keeping your feet dry when you're kicking in a skull."

A few memorable quotes from J. Peterman: "Elaine, up until a few minutes ago, I was convinced I was on the receiving end of the oldest baker's grift in the books - The Entenmann's Shim Sham. Until I remembered my security camera, which I installed to catch other Walter using my latrine."

"Elaine, do you have any idea what happens to a butter-based frosting after sitting 60 years in a poorly ventilated English basement? I have a feeling that what you are about to go through is punishment enough. Dismissed."

"I'm afraid it's your urine, Elaine. You've tested positive for opium...That's right. White Lotus. Yam-yam. Shanghai Sally...The dark continent is no place for an addict, Elaine."

Peterman: I know what you're going through. I too once fell under the spell of opium. It was 1979. I was travelling the Yangtzee in search of a Mongolian horsehair vest. I had got to the market after sundown, all of the clothing traders had gone, but a different sort of trader still lurked about. "Just a taste," he said. That was all it took. Elaine: Mr. Peterman, I don't know what's going on here. I am not addicted to anything.
Peterman: Oh, Elaine. The toll road of denial is a long and dangerous one. The price? Your soul. Oh, and by the way, you have til' 5:00 to clear out your desk. You're fired.

"The Rogue's Wallet. That's where he kept his card, his dirty little secret. Short, devious, balding. His name was Costanza. He killed my mother."

J. Peterman: (speaks in rough and foreign tones to a Burmese boy, who bows and rushes from the room)
Elaine: You speak Burmese?
J. Peterman, with the utmost seriousness: No, Elaine, that was just gibberish.

"Oh, my neck is one gargantuan monkey fist."

"You most likely know it as Myanmar, but it will always be Burma to me. Bonne chance, Elaine. You there on the motorbike! Sell me one of your melons!"

"Oh, I'll be inaugrating [the golf clubs] this weekend, with none other than Ethel Kennedy. A woman whose triumph in the face of tragedy is exceeded only by her proclivity to procreate."