From "Hard Ball" (Season 1):Extolling the virtues of the lunch that Kenneth’s brought him: "I love this cornbread so much, I wanna take it behind a middle school and get it pregnant."
From "Seinfeld Vision" (Season 2):Seeing Liz Lemon in a wedding dress: "Oh, no! Did a Korean person die?"
From "The Baby Show" (Season 1):Getting angry about Josh's impressions of him: "This is untoward! This is not toward!"
From "Jack the Writer" (Season 1):Giving advice to Kenneth: "Live every week like it's Shark Week."
From "Apollo, Apollo" (Season 3):Fed up with people criticizing him: "What is this, Horseville? Because I’m surrounded by naysayers. Wordplay!"
From "Pilot" (Season 1):Explaining his philosophy of life to Liz: "Affirmative action was designed to keep women and minorities in competition with each other to distract us while white dudes inject AIDS into our chicken nuggets."
From "Jack Gets in the Game" (Season 2):Broaching a serious topic with Kenneth: "I got something on my mind grapes I need to talk to you about."
From "Somebody to Love" (Season 2):
Telling Jack how to deal with his potential new girlfriend: "Tell her that you want your privates and her privates to do a high-five."
Admonishing a bird: "Stop eating people’s old French fries, pigeon! Have some self respect! Don’t you know you can fly?"