Title: “Last Cigarette Ever”
Original Airdate: December 14, 2009
When Marshall takes up smoking again to bond with his new boss, soon the whole gang is puffing on cigarettes and desperate to quit. Robin clashes with her boorish new co-anchor, who is jaded about the tiny audience for their news program and Robin’s shot at a big-time anchor gig (but they will apparently end up dating within three months). Everyone commits to quitting smoking, but something always breaks their resolve. Finally, they gather for a final cigarette, but as Future Ted notes to his kids, all of them ended up smoking again.
Title: “Girls vs. Suits”
Original Airdate: January 11, 2010
Ted goes out with Cindy (Rachel Bilson), a student from the class he accidentally taught at the beginning of the semester, but it turns out that her roommate is destined to be the mother of the show’s title. After one date, Cindy decides that she can’t date Ted because of the university’s policy against students dating professors, and Ted misses the chance to meet the roommate, at least for now. Barney is determined to hook up with a hot bartender who hates guys in suits, so he tries to give up suit-wearing, which isn’t easy.
Original Airdate: January 18, 2010
Marshall is worried that Lily will be jealous of his friendship with his attractive female co-worker Jenkins (Amanda Peet), but then is upset when she doesn’t care. He wants to make Lily jealous, but then gets freaked out when Jenkins kisses him. He confesses to Lily, but she doesn’t believe him until Jenkins admits it, finally driving Lily into a rage. Ted discovers that his students play a drinking game based on Robin’s tendency to say “but, um” in her TV interviews, and when she learns about it, she gets her revenge by using the phrase constantly.
Title: “The Perfect Week”
Original Airdate: February 1, 2010
When Barney picks up three different girls in three nights, he decides to go for a “perfect week,” picking up seven girls in seven nights without being rejected. Despite his job being in jeopardy, Barney focuses all his efforts on making it happen, and the gang rallies behind him to ensure success. Barney achieves the perfect week, and keeps his job. Ted inadvertently makes fun of a student’s name and causes her to drop his class.
Title: “Rabbit or Duck”
Original Airdate: February 8, 2010
Barney holds up a sign with his phone number on it at the Super Bowl, and gets calls from so many women that he can’t pause long enough to actually score with any of them. Robin’s obnoxious co-anchor Don invites her to his house for Valentine’s Day, and the gang is convinced she’s in love with him. He behaves like a pervert, and she dismisses him, but then he apologizes, and Robin realizes she might just be falling for Don after all. Ted asks Marshall and Lily to arrange a marriage for him, but then backs out.
Original Airdate: March 1, 2010
The gang tries to convince Ted that Tiffany (Carrie Underwood), the girl he thinks he’s starting to date, is really just stringing him along, since she has a boyfriend that she keeps promising to leave but never does. It turns out that Robin, Ted and Lily are all keeping people “on the hook” as well, and Marshall helps Lily work up the nerve to finally tell off the ex-boyfriend who works in the cafeteria at her school. Ted, too, finally gets fed up and walks out on Tiffany, and also tells his own “hookee” that they will never be together.
Title: “Of Course”
Original Airdate: March 8, 2010
Barney meets Anita (Jennifer Lopez), the author of a self-help book that teaches women to constantly say no to men, and he’s determined to defeat her system. It turns out that Robin has hired Anita to break Barney down, because she hasn’t gotten over their break-up, and she’s upset hearing about all the women Barney is sleeping with. When Barney discovers how distraught Robin has been, he calls off his date with Anita, and gives Robin the dream date with her co-anchor Don instead.
Title: “Say Cheese”
Original Airdate: March 22, 2010
It’s Lily’s birthday, which she takes very seriously, and Ted brings a date to the party. Lily’s annoyed that Ted always brings random girls to group gatherings, and they always ruin everyone’s good time and Lily’s prized collection of group pictures. When Ted’s date messes up the cake she’s baking for Lily, Marshall explodes and kicks the woman out. But Ted reminds Lily that she was once an interloper whom he invited into a photo, so she forgives Ted and allows his date into the latest picture.
Title: “Zoo or False”
Original Airdate: April 12, 2010
Lily is worried because Marshall got mugged, so she decides to get a gun to protect them. Marshall then admits that his “mugger” was actually a Central Park Zoo monkey that grabbed his wallet. Robin wants him to appear on her TV show because she needs interesting people to interview. He then admits that he made up the monkey story just to convince Lily she didn’t need to get a gun. He goes on Robin’s show anyway, but breaks down and keeps changing his story. Eventually no one knows what really happened.
Title: “Home Wreckers”
Original Airdate: April 19, 2010
Ted’s mother gets married to her hippie-dippy boyfriend, and it drives Ted over the edge. Worried that he’s behind on getting his life in order, Ted buys a run-down old house for his eventual family. Everyone tries to convince him that buying the house was a huge mistake, but he won’t listen. Ted finally agrees to sell the house, but ultimately he can’t part with it, and it turns out to be the house where he still lives in the future. Barney reveals that he cried at Ted’s mom’s wedding because he and Ted’s mom once hooked up, and he still wasn’t over her.